Wednesday, April 28

CSULB Film

As many of you know, I climbed a pretty big step last week as a college student. After 2 years of wishy-washy-ness in the realm of "choosing a major," I finally have one that I can own.

In January of this year, I submitted my application to the CSU Long Beach Film Department in hopes that I would be accepted into their Production Option. The group they select is based on GPA, a personal statement, a critical essay, 2 letters of recommendation, and an artistic project that shows ones capabilities and promise. I was very fortunate to have 2 beloved teachers, whom I highly esteem, write my letters of recommendation. Both gave me the chance to prove myself and grow as a student, and enabled me to own my capacity for leadership and creativity. I am ever grateful for their kindness in this process.

I decided that for my "artistic project" I would shoot a music video of sorts- but not like VH1 or MTV. I wanted to tell a story [or at least part of one] through the creative use of imagery in both cinematography and symbolism. That's fancy-talk for "I wanted to tell a story and make it look pretty." Coming up on winter break, I didn't have a CLUE as to what song I would use or what story I would tell. The submission deadline was January 15th, so I had about 4 weeks to get it together [yikes and a half]. On my drive from Long Beach to Modesto in December, I was skipping through track after track on my ipod, trying to find something that struck me.

I was on the grapevine pass when I kind of gave up, and put on a very familiar mix CD a friend had given me. I had listened to "Your Ex-Lover is Dead" so many times in Long Beach, but this time the song sounded new, and my whole video just kind of created itself in my head- the story, the type of shots I wanted, the props, the colors, the people. And I listened to that song for about 2 hours on repeat just to solidify it all in my mind.

So over break, I recruited a cast (2 of my best friends), got a crew (my family), designed costumes (Target...), bought a bunch of paint (boo yah), and made the video I submitted: Catharsis.

catharsis : [noun] the process of releasing, and thereby providing relief from, strong or repressed emotions
(it's what the story is about).

To retain some professionalism, I waited to post Catharsis to the internet until I had heard from the Film Program regarding the status of my application. Last Thursday, I was informed that, along with 48 others, my application was accepted and I would be a part of the incoming Production Option class :)

So- below this paragraph is my video. (Yeah, I know it's tiny- and kind of pixely- and I hesitate to show you because of those things. Nevertheless-). Know as you watch it that the intent of this project was to show both creativity and promise (not necessarily professionalism). Yes I exerted much effort into making it as professional as possible, and most everything you see was intentionally done, but with very little formal film education to own to, this is purely rudimentary, purely student (so all you film buffs- extend some grace!) :D

[VIDEO CURRENTLY UNDER CONSTRUCTION - NOT AVAILABLE AT THIS TIME]

Monday, April 19

Sijui kama vijambo mwingi

I don't know about many things

I wish I could reveal to you all that I've learned in my Climatology class this semester. I always sit in the front row, sheer wonder in my note-taking, and smiling through the still-waking eyelids of my 8 AM gaze. Even after a semester of the complex climatological subject material nearly wringing my neck, I still attend that class in awe. But what amazes me more is that, even after a semester of Climatology, I will only have scratched the surface of the functions of this planet. Some of it is even beyond the people who have dedicated their lives to geographical studies. In our last lecture on storm formation, our professor told us that though the United States is the tornado capital of the world, tornadoes are still very poorly understood. Amazing. Nevertheless, though I don't (and won't) have the answers and explanations to all of Earth's processes, this class has opened my eyes to the intricacies of a world I've taken for granted. (and it's been more than a little bit mind-blowing).

But film is my major, not climatology.

In my Media Aesthetics class last semester, we talked about how music legitimately affects the image being shown. (If you've ever gone to the extras menu of James Cameron's Titanic and watched the sinking scene without music, you know exactly what I'm talking about). Music creates mood. (If you've ever been aware of how you act while driving- the person you are while Damien Rice is playing is worlds apart from Lil Jon... am I right?) And we use music to express, and to reinforce the emotions we feel, or to create the ones we want to.

I think in music and movement. I'm always very aware of myself and my surroundings while music is playing. I'm always looking for what is syncing up: what am I seeing or doing that "goes" with what I'm hearing? What juxtaposes it? Sometimes I'll even change the song so it better suits my environment. Does anyone else do that? Is there a facebook group for that yet?

Anyways.

Last Monday I was coming back home from my dance class, and as I pulled into my parking spot, the song Stokkseyri by Jonsi & Alex came on. (It's a 7 minute lyric-less song, and if you want to hear it, play the video at the bottom of this post). So Stokkseyri came on, and as I sighed in bewitchment of its sound, I stopped the car and looked up- and the scene before me was simply majestic. I literally sat for a moment with a dropped jaw. It was about 7:30 PM and the sun had just set. The sky was canary yellow and there we these big, bright, pink cumulous clouds just wafting valiantly along the lower atmosphere. If only my arm were just a bit longer, I think I might have touched them. And their boldness shone, highlighted in bright white and yellow- a mirror of the western horizon. The wind moved beneath their bodies, twisting their fragile edges, and carried them slowly before my eyes. And that same wind, it was bending the upper branches of the eucalyptus trees! I could see fluidity in the bark as it flexed in the zephyr; the leaves of their branches, shaking with delight. The music made it more emotive than I may have noticed otherwise- its repetitive tones, its strangeness and overlapping, it evoked the majesty of the scene set before me. It took this magnificent panorama and made it absolutely tangible. And I sat there watching, in astonishment and awe: because I knew how those clouds were formed! I knew about the adiabatic processes and convective uplift that likely created them! about the Coriolis Force and its affect on winds! about so much of the science of what I was seeing.. and yet nearly nothing at all.

Like a puzzle, the intricacies of this earth combine and materialize into beauty, into majesty. There's no way this planet just accidentally came into fruition. Look at it.

"Behold, God is great, and we know him not; the number of his years is unsearchable. For he draws up the drops of water; they distill his mist in rain, which the skies pour down and drop on mankind abundantly. Can anyone understand the spreading of clouds, the thunderings of his pavilion? Behold he scatters lightning about him and covers the roots of the sea. For by these he judges his peoples; he gives food in abundance. He covers his hands with the lightning and commands it to strike the mark. its crashing declares his presence; the cattle also declare that he rises." -Job 36:26-33

Sijui kama vijambo mwingi.
I do not know about many things, but I do know this:

God is.


take a listen:

Friday, April 9

A Day Without Shoes

It wasn't a difficult choice- going barefoot- there's a kind of thrill of being shoeless in public anyways. In America, we hardly ever go without shoes, and I always savored the few times in high school that, for whatever reason, I didn't have shoes on in class. There was a newness to it, a neat feeling, a rebellion of sorts.

Needless to say, this isn't the case for everyone in the world. But the need for shoes never really crossed my mind until I heard about TOMS and their movement 3 years ago. For those of you who have never heard about TOMS, it goes a little something like this: For every one pair of shoes you buy from TOMS, they give one pair to a child in need. Cool huh? Did I mention that the TOMS I have are also the most comfortable shoes I've ever owned? Yeah, it's true (sorry Rainbows, but you take a very close 2nd).

Anyways, TOMS promotes a "Day Without Shoes," challenging people around the world to bare their soles for a day, not only to see what it's like, but also to help raise awareness and about the fact that:
  • A leading cause of disease in developing countries is soil-transmitted diseases, which can penetrate the skin through bare feet. Wearing shoes can help prevent these diseases, and the long-term physical and cognitive harm they cause.
  • Wearing shoes also prevents feet from getting cuts and sores. Not only are these injuries painful, they also are dangerous when wounds become infected.
  • Many times children can't attend school barefoot because shoes are a required part of their uniform. If they don't have shoes, they don't go to school. If they don't receive an education, they don't have the opportunity to realize their potential.

So like I said, it wasn't a difficult choice to go barefoot, not just because I like not wearing shoes, but because there are people who've never had a pair of their own.

The night before, I washed my feet really good, took off that old and chipping nail polish, and spent more time on my pedicure than I probably should have. But what I wanted to do was start with the best possible feet and see how bad they got after a whole day without shoes.
That night I also got out the sharpies and drew the iconic TOMS flag on my right foot and wrote "A DAY WITHOUT SHOES" on my left. This wasn't to call attention to my feet, but merely to direct that guy in Anthropology class to the source causing all the bare-footed-ness around him.

The Day Of: One of the weirdest parts was simply the act of leaving my dorm room- fully dressed, backpack on.. no shoes. It felt incomplete, and I smiled at the strangeness of it. Throughout the day I walked to all of my classes (in lieu of taking the shuttle, as per usual). Being in the library was definitely weird. I saw a few other people with bare feet, to which we exchanged mutual smiles and adorned our lips with expressions such as, "hey, nice feet" and "I like your style." (I thought it was neat how events like this seem to break down that dumb social 'rule' that says we cannot converse with strangers).

What struck me most about the day was that by 3:00, after walking to and from 3 classes and arriving at my 4th one, my feet hurt! I didn't know how my dance class at 3:30 would go. The balls of my feet were red and raw from the heat and grittiness of the pavement, and my once-pristine soles were caked with the filth of the day. After dance, I was rushing to the grassy patches along the way back to the dorms; their cool, squishiness felt like foot-heaven. It was an accomplishment of sorts to have made it for a whole day, but the only thing I could think was What if you had to get up and do this tomorrow, too? And the next day.. and the next day? I mean granted, my feet would become calloused, and the ground I walked on would not feel so strange anymore, but hard and calloused feet- they hurt. Without shoes I would still be susceptible to cuts, to infections, to injuries (have you ever lost a toenail? worst thing ever).

Anyways- my eyes were really opened up on Thursday. I felt, for a moment, a world without shoes. (It made me want to buy 6 million pairs of TOMS). I also found myself especially aware of all the shoes people were wearing. We all have so many shoes! I just wanted to scream out and tell everybody how fortunate they are- not just for shoes, but to just be living in this country, to have the things they have- food, clothes, help, support, opportunities, school, rights, religion, shoes..

think about it :)

If you'd like to have your very own pair of TOMS go here: TOMS.com and check them out!

Friday, April 2

I used to be crazy

I'm not sure how, in high school, I could finish an essay at 2 AM, sleep 4.5 hrs, have a day filled with academics, music lessons, dance lessons, and feel completely awake until about 11 PM.

I got 7 hours of sleep last night, and the only slightly active thing I did today was ride 1 mile on a razor scooter.. and I'm beat.


Is this what getting old is like?

Thursday, April 1

Song Writing


I write a lot of songs. Most of the time I don't like them.
A few years ago, when I actually wrote them out (like with a pencil and paper), I would throw them away; because after the thoughts had come to fruition in poetic form, they seemed stupid.

When I got to college, I started using Word documents to jot down thoughts and combinations of words that occurred to me throughout the day. This new song-writing process has continued since then, and I've thrown away fewer songs (though it may simply be because these documents are far less tangible...).

I've definitely started more songs than I've finished. I've even recorded snippets of some songs on Garage Band, and those recordings, along with the typed out lyrics, are sometimes better than journals when I'm looking back on earlier days.

I stumbled upon all my Garage Band stuff today (I recorded a lot more than I thought), and it was like time-traveling through the end parts of high school and up through my last four semesters at Long Beach State.

One of my New Years' Resolutions (at the urging of some friends) is actually to record a few tracks in a studio... Until then, I thought it would be neat to post the lyrics of a more recent song I've been working on, just for kicks (Vs. 4 & the chorus still need to be finished).

It's called "Chlorophyll," and it's kind of a letter to myself in response to the sudden loss of a friend last year. I found that one of the final stages of that initial, short-term grieving/coping process, actually started when I confronted myself about my own feelings and began writing this song.


Chlorophyll
And they cut all the grass on the burial ground that
swept your knees before they came to kill that chlorophyll
that filled you up with something more than death,
but Fall it brought rot to your lens,
look again- there's life in the summit.

And soon the pasty legs of winter will
show themselves from cut-off denim
and we'll face the radiation with our skin.
And in time we will forget the tears and
in time we'll learn to say
it's what he would have wanted anyway

Because life has so much more than we can see
O Death, where is your sting?

And you were bitter and you were enraged;
death had come to young to understand.
But rest in His hand and,
life will come back to your heart again.

Chorus

Vs. 4: Let go of the regret that made you weak
and on your knees you wept in the summer
in your bed

Chorus: Life has so much more than we can see,
O Death, where is your sting?