More than that, in fact.
I guess that lazy summer afternoon air has just gotten to me.
I find myself feeling pressed for time within the confines of what would otherwise be a pretty light schedule. I think part of that feeling stems from the fact that as much as I didn't want to leave Long Beach in May, I'm not 100% looking forward to going back either. This run-down town has been stealing pieces of my heart ever since I first looked up and saw the sun through its sycamore trees. And yeah, I know it's a place that most local high schoolers die to flee from- but they're looking through a jaded lens. I
know because I've been there; though I've never hated this town like the rest, I don't think. I found (and still find) simple joy in a drive through what's left of the city's countryside; seeing the dusty, dusk sun stretch itself through orchards, and between wooden cracks on roadside barns. I still like, every now and again, to go up with friends to Knights Ferry and look at the stars... even though that old covered bridge totally creeps me out. I like driving by my old high school, and thinking of all the memories I carried from there. But most of all, I just like being at home. It's nostalgia to a certain degree that plagues me, but more than that- it's just familiarity, it's laid-back comfort. It's not the hustle and bustle of the 405, or the overwhelming "be perfect" vibe that drearily hangs over southern california- thick like the LA smog.
But in 3.5 days I will all begin again.
A new school year.
Don't get me wrong, I am looking forward to it-
just currently feeling a bit torn..
