More than that, in fact.
I guess that lazy summer afternoon air has just gotten to me.
I find myself feeling pressed for time within the confines of what would otherwise be a pretty light schedule. I think part of that feeling stems from the fact that as much as I didn't want to leave Long Beach in May, I'm not 100% looking forward to going back either. This run-down town has been stealing pieces of my heart ever since I first looked up and saw the sun through its sycamore trees. And yeah, I know it's a place that most local high schoolers die to flee from- but they're looking through a jaded lens. I
know because I've been there; though I've never hated this town like the rest, I don't think. I found (and still find) simple joy in a drive through what's left of the city's countryside; seeing the dusty, dusk sun stretch itself through orchards, and between wooden cracks on roadside barns. I still like, every now and again, to go up with friends to Knights Ferry and look at the stars... even though that old covered bridge totally creeps me out. I like driving by my old high school, and thinking of all the memories I carried from there. But most of all, I just like being at home. It's nostalgia to a certain degree that plagues me, but more than that- it's just familiarity, it's laid-back comfort. It's not the hustle and bustle of the 405, or the overwhelming "be perfect" vibe that drearily hangs over southern california- thick like the LA smog.
But in 3.5 days I will all begin again.
A new school year.
Don't get me wrong, I am looking forward to it-
just currently feeling a bit torn..
Just was checking in to see if you had blogged recently, and, boy, did you ever.
ReplyDeleteI couldn't have said this better myself. I've always felt like the people who have the greatest distaste for this town are the people who are searching for something but don't know what. The kind of people who aren't really happy anywhere, ya know?
I may live in NY, but I'd take the Brighter Side any day. xoxo
I feel ya chickadee! :)
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